You watch too fast

Lust for life. The movie about Van Gogh.

I haven’t watched it, but there’s a scene I have gone back to hundreds of times.

Kirk Douglas, Anthony Quinn, an argument, and a line to reflect on.

The exact conversation between Gauguin and Vincent probably never took place,

but who cares.

In less than one minute, Van Gogh delivers a marvelous speech about what painting should be.

Human spirit.

No control.

Emotion.

Feel.

As the tension escalates, Paul outrageously yells,

You paint too fast

To what Vincent responds a sentence that has been echoing inside of me for years,

You watch too fast.

I guess we do.

Too fast, all too fast.

Even with my own work.

I usually take pictures of the process of my paintings. I also tear up a great part of my work.

Sometimes I look back at a photograph I took of a painting I made just a minute before I destroyed it and I like what I see.

It thrills me. Why did I kill it?

I feel stupid.

Complexity usually takes time to be understood.

Superficial is effortless. Profound is demanding.

Too fast, always too fast.